For reasons way too complex to explain here, I went to a very conservative university. In many ways, it was a Jesus college. I wore a lot of black, for a year I had a shaved head, I had way more piercings than my school approved of, and the only club I bothered joining was the extremely controversial campus feminist organization, but I still did a lot to placate the conservative powers at my school. I toned it down, pulled my punches, and I still sort of regret that.
The feminist club, by the way, were just as disturbed by my black nailpolish as everyone else in town. It was a real disappointment. The coolest, most liberal people I knew were still weirded out by my gothy tendencies. Which only encouraged me to give in and tone down more.
I never gave it up entirely, but I spent years at various points between mainstream and goth. I spent years in the shadowy realm of the semi-goth.
If I could have worked “semi-goth” into a good blog title, I would have. Or I could have gone with the more acceptable “Darkly Inclined Grotesquerie,” but there’s no alliteration there AT ALL!
Oh gods, I’m rambling. Perhaps I should write down some Ungoth/Semi-goth confessions to salvage this post.
Confession 1: I don’t make much distinction between Goth and “Not Goth Enough.” Maybe there should be a line, like owning 9 skulls isn’t goth enough, but buy that 10th skull and BOOM! You’re GOTH now. But I don’t know the exact number of skulls I need to own, so I just keep buying them and hoping they’re enough, you know?
Confession 2: I’m really obsessed with cooking and food history. Not just gruesome stuff like butchery or spooky cocktails, but all of it, from Australian wallaby steaks to the origins of Punjabi cuisine. I’m a great home cook, too, and when I’m not watching Stranger Things and Stan Against Evil I’m watching shows about cooking and food culture. Whatever. I’m a food nerd.
Confession 3: I do love coffee and some red wines (I’m currently in love with Argentinian Malbec) but I have no idea why those things are supposed to be goth. None at all.
Confession 4: I love Christmas. I put up lights all over my house. I own the entire Lego Winter Village collection. I put up my tree on Thanksgiving weekend and cover it in Christmas ornaments from almost everywhere I’ve been.
Confession 5: I no longer wear corsets. I have irritable bowels that just don’t like to be squished. I love the way they look, but I don’t own even one anymore. Which leads to . . .
Oops, my kids are just about home and they’ll need my help with their math. I’ll have to do my next 5 confessions next time. 🙂