Dreaming of Autumn

I’ve been dreaming of cozy things. Whenever I’m stressed I escape into my imagination, and lately my fantasies have been woodsy and witchy. I dream about crisp autumn leaves, knitting and drinking tea while a hearty soup simmers away in the kitchen. I can see myself curled up in a blanket reading a novel, listening to the rain. I just want it to be Mabon already. From then until about Yule, that’s my favorite time of year.

I’ve been obsessing over strega fashion and dark mori and making vague plans to properly learn how to sew. It’s not just the fashion that attracts me, it’s the idea of a simpler, more natural life combined with an aura of mystery and magic. I don’t want to buy a bunch of outfits, I want to be inspired to spend time making things the way an actual fairy tale forest witch would.

In the last few months I’ve watched so many people learning “old-fashioned” skills like cooking and knitting–all my online specialty stores have long wait times for basics like beans and yarn and oregano because of all the brand new chefs and crafters placing orders. I guess I’m not the only one dreaming of fairy tale forests these days. I genuinely hope at least a few people come out of this chaos with new healthy habits and stress-relieving hobbies that last a lifetime.

Our paychecks will (we think) start coming again this week, so our budget can slowly return to normal. I’ve been tempted by impulse purchases, but maybe I should stick with my handmade fantasies a while longer. Who knows what I might create?

this one’s mine

Image credits:

green arm warmers

woman in black

midlife mori

The Story Behind my Reusable Grocery Bags

Until recently, I hardly ever took my own bags to the grocery store. In the past I’d tried to get on board with reusable bags but A)I’d usually forget to bring them and B)when I did I always felt weird about taking one store’s bags to another store, as if the checker at Target would see a Harmon’s logo on my bags and know I had cheated on Target with another grocery store.

And then I got in line behind a terrible bitch. She didn’t do anything to me personally, but she was so mean to the checkers it made me embarrassed on behalf of all the store’s customers. And what she was mean about was bags. When the checker asked “paper or plastic,” she complained that “you shouldn’t even offer plastic bags! They’re illegal in some states, you know!” And proceeded to sourly watch the checker put her two items in a paper bag while she bitched at him about a couple of other things and then tried to get a free copy of the New York Times before storming off. She was so awful it’s almost funny looking back, but at the time all I could think was that anyone really concerned about the environment would just carry her two items in her hands instead of asking for a bag at all.

Or bring a reusable bag. Obviously. The incident got me interested in the whole grocery bag issue once again and I eventually decided it was time to try the reusable bag thing again. I remembered my weirdness about store logo bags, so I started looking online and fell in love with the most stupidly expensive totes ever. I now own five of them.

 

It’s not totally clear from the photos, but they’re dedicated to various famous books and authors, with famous passages printed on them along with illustrations. The narrow sides are printed to look like the spines of books. There’s Alice in Wonderland, Wind in the Willows, Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, and Jane Eyre. I was tempted by the MacBeth tote and the Call of Cthulhu one, but even at my most impulsive I do have some limits. There’s also a tote for “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe but honestly, that’s not even close to my favorite work by Poe and I’m tired of goths latching on to that one poem and pretending it makes them literary. If there was a Hop-Frog tote I’d be all over it but the Raven is way overdone.

I’m not usually a “retail therapy” person but every once in a while I make ridiculous impulse purchases. The good news about this one is that I do love the bags. They’re well made, sturdy and hold a lot. Even after several months they still make me happy every time I use them, and the expense makes me remember to use them almost every time I shop.

I’m not sure what, besides, grocery shopping, made me think of this story today but I was struck by how inspiration can come from the most surprising places. Maybe that bitchy lady really is saving the environment by yelling at grocery checkers. Maybe someday I’ll see her again, and I’ll probably be using my awesome bags when I do. Maybe I’ll yell at her to go get one of her own.

Beautiful Gloomy Day

It looks like I haven’t posted since Halloween. Oops. I’ve been working on things–I’m halfway through Gaston Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera, nearly finished making a DIY footstool, and I have some thoughts coming together about the holiday season, among other things–but nothing’s ready to talk about yet so I’ve put off posting. But I’m sick and a bit tired, and it’s such a beautiful rainy day, that I wanted to say hello from my cozy corner in the living room.

Mr. Robot’s hand is healing well, but it’ll still be weeks before he’s able to fully use it, which has completely derailed our biggest project. He’s been working on built-in shelves for our basement, hoping to use the holiday breaks to finish them, but he can’t build shelves with one hand. Both my hands work and I’m fine with power tools, but I just haven’t had time to help out. Normally we set up our Christmas tree in the basement but our project is taking up too much space at the moment, so I think we’ll be rearranging our living room to make space up here for it.

The shelves, once they’re finally done, will be the first major step in turning our basement into something close to a Victorian library. I’m imagining dark wood and deep reds and greens, with a couple of deep, comfortable reading chairs and some Tiffany style reading lamps. Our basement is one large room that is already part library, part home office, and part guest bedroom, so transforming it is a very long-term project, which gives me plenty of time to google for decor inspiration.

Anyway, I’m still alive and working hard at many things. With so many projects cooking, I’m bound to finish one soon and I’ll be sure to share my triumph with all of you. I hope you’re all well and cozy and enjoying your own autumn chill.

Halloween Time

Last week I took my youngest kid to Disneyland. Our whole family went three years ago, just a couple months before I started this blog, and the moment we came home my kid started planning her return trip. When each kid turns 10 they get to pick a destination and take their first plane ride, and since she was seven our littlest has known where she wanted to fly. Even though her birthday is in March, she patiently waited until October, when her school has its fall break, mostly because that’s what our budget needed and partly because I prefer Disney in the fall.

2016 and 2019

 

 

I love Disneyland in October–the weather is cooler and the Halloween Time decorations are all the spooky cute I could ask for. One of my sisters joined us for most of our stay and while my kidlet was making some great memories, my sister and I were reliving our own childhood memories. My uncle John has lived near Disneyland since 1960 or so and we have fond memories both of visiting him and of visiting the park over the years. Uncle John is 85 now, the same age as Donald Duck, and he doesn’t have the stamina to visit Disney with kids anymore but we still got to visit him for dinner twice.

They accidentally wore the same shirt.

The kidlet’s favorite ride is Autopia, the one where you drive a little car around a track. I barely noticed this ride at her age and now it just feels like the driving I do every day, but this is the closest to real driving a 10-year-old can get and she was thrilled with it. She made us ride it at least eight times in two days. She loves roller coasters, too, so she let us go on all those and we both loved the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. They have a spookier, monster-based storyline in the evenings as part of Halloween Time and we both loved that, too. She also let me go on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, my personal favorite, several times. It’s such an odd little adventure ride that ends with Mr. Toad dead and in the flames of hell. It’s a fun little children’s ride and yet really dark when you think about it, and I never get tired of it. In fact, the older I get the more I like it. It runs in the family–Mr. Toad was my grandfather’s favorite ride and my dad quite liked it as well.

waiting for Autopia cars, ToonTown, line for Star Wars Smuggler’s Run

in line for the haunted house, California Adventure’s Radiator Springs

Oogie Boogie decor, lobby of Guardians ride, the “plants” on the Alice in Wonderland perfectly match my wall paint

Visiting Uncle John was also a real treat, and I got to take some pictures of his house, which has changed very little since the early ’60s. I just love all the early sixties furniture and antique tchotchkes and the flashy wallpaper he let his kids pick way back then. As kids we were always so amazed by my uncle’s quirky decor and in a roundabout way his house inspired my own quirky decorating sense.

It was a busy trip and hard on our feet but we had a grand time, and while we were gone Mr. Robot and our older kids cleaned the house and decorated for Halloween. It was good to come home and even better to see all our skeletons and monster legos arranged so nicely. They did a great job.

 

RIP Scott Walker

I’ve been off the internet so I’m a couple of days late hearing of Scott Walker’s death. I loved his avant garde albums, especially Tilt and The Drift, and I want to do some small honor to his passing. Tilt and The Drift are difficult albums in a way I can’t really describe. The first time I heard “Farmer in the City” I was more stunned than impressed. The song stayed with me and opened my mind to a whole new set of sounds and feelings.

As a small remembrance, I’m sharing two of my favorites pieces. “Clara” is about the death of Mussolini and his girlfriend (I read an interesting interview where he discussed this song, but I can’t find it right now among the sea of Walker memorial articles). “Farmer in the City” is an adaptation of a Pier Paolo Pasolini poem and the first song of his I ever heard.

 

My Inevitable Surrender to D&D

I mentioned we’re learning to play Dungeons & Dragons as a family. It’s sort of weird that I’ve never played, because I grew up dreaming over my brother’s Monster Manual and Player’s Handbook. I was way too young to play with him and his friends, though. He’s seven years older than me, so when he was making cool hex maps and running campaigns in high school I was just still in elementary school. By the time I was old enough to play my brother was off working on his PhD and D&D was kind of old news, so I really had no one to figure it out with.

The game’s history is surprisingly complicated, but when I was growing up it was seen as a)super complicated to learn, b)so, so nerdy and c)possibly Satanic or crazymaking. I am not making this up. I had a friend in college who claimed she’d had to quit role playing games because they made her unable to tell fantasy from reality*. Also, a lot of kids in our church growing up weren’t allowed to play D&D because it would lead us to occult studies or something. Of course, I was never worried about being Satanic (such an interesting religion) or about being a huge nerd, but the original Advanced Dungeons and Dragons play system looked way too complicated to learn on my own.

Eventually I lost interest in that kind of “swords and horses” fantasy altogether. But guess who just loves swords and horses? Mr. Robot and my kids. Also my youngest sister and her husband, who gave us the 5th Edition starter set for Christmas. Mr. Robot loves table top games, the more complicated the better, so he read through the rules and story and tried to be the GM.** He lasted about half an hour as GM. There’s too much hands on acting and decision-making involved, especially when you’re playing with kids, and his circuits fried.

Which means I’m now the GM. I should have been GM from the start. Mr. Robot loves to explore and be surprised in a mostly low pressure environment, while I’m both compulsively organized (let’s make index cards for the monters’ stats!) and happy improvising characters and battle scenes. So I bit the bullet and finally started learning all those fiddly rules I’ve avoided my whole life. This part is exactly as boring as I always suspected, but I’m getting the hang of it.

Our first game session was a glorious trainwreck that got my son’s character (a dwarf druid) accidentally killed right after trying to kill his sister’s character out of spite. The kids were annoying as hell and played like drunk monkeys instead of respectable elves and dwarves, but they can’t wait to play again this Sunday. They’re set on doing this weekly forever.

I’m still not in love with swords and horses, but I like GMing so far. It’s not as good as being John Constantine, but it doesn’t completely suck. I’ve also picked our next adventure, because the starter pack only takes two or three sessions to play. We’re going to take a stab at the Curse of Strahd–I’m hoping it’s a good compromise between Mr. Robot’s swords and horses fixation and my deep need to put vampires in everything. With a little luck, both our family and their characters will have fun leveling up.

*We actually became good friends for a while. Good enough that I’m quite sure she was weird before she ever picked up a 20-sided die. 

**If you’re not familiar, in D&D most people are adventurers, each with their own character, and one person is the Game Master (GM) who reads the story and represents all the monsters and characters the players interact with. 

Mooning Over Wall Art

I’ve been taking my sweet time redecorating my walls after all that painting. I’ve reframed several pictures, brought a couple up from the basement, added a few new bugs and bats. But I’ve realized I want a few new things to spice things up.

I’m a big believer in buying from smaller artists and crafters instead of going straight for posters and prints of already famous people or paintings, so I’ve been browsing through Etsy and such for possibilities.

So far my top contenders are:

Spoken in Red. A lot of her photos are beautiful and intriguing, and if I’m willing to spend enough I could get one printed on canvas or metal. I’ve never had anything printed on metal and I’m really tempted.

 

 

Reproductions of historical woodcuts from Morbid Curio. These are much smaller and cheaper and I love the stories behind them, so I’ll probably end up with more than one. I can feel myself falling in love already.

 

At the risk of being a goth cliche, I’m also considering these Edgar Allen Poe illustrations. The art’s not my usual style but I do so love Poe’s horror.

I’m also falling in love with this photo of famously haunted Eastern State Penitentiary and this fascinating morgue painting.

We obviously can’t afford or find room for every one, but how to decide? My heart wants them all but my walls only want three or four (and my wallet only wants one or two). Which are your favorites? Have you ever had a print on metal (and is it worth the money)?

Interior Inspiration

My kids got me watching old episodes of Grimm. It would be totally impractical and a nightmare to keep clean, but I envy that trailer full of weapons and books. I’ve always kind of wanted my home to look like a vampire hunter’s library. Or an apothecary. Or a witch’s workroom. Cluttered with historical and magical objects.

I come from a line of scary hoarders (including my own mother) so I’m not sure this desire is entirely balanced and healthy. I’m no stark minimalist in my decorating but I try to keep my collections moderate for the sake of my family and mental health.

But a girl can dream, can’t she? Of that awesome trailer on Grimm, or the spice shop:

GRIMM — “Death Do Us Part” Episode 411 — Pictured: Bitsie Tulloch as Juliette — (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)

Or the Sanderson sisters’ house on Hocus Pocus:

Or the sewing room from Stan Against Evil, apparently designed by the awesomely named Zombie Cat Studios:

Or practically any interior shot from Penny Dreadful. Any at all. I don’t lean Victorian in clothing styles, but I love the profusion of pattern and texture in Victorian homes:

Eva Green as Vanessa Ives in Penny Dreadful (season 2, episode 3). – Photo: Jonathan Hession/SHOWTIME – Photo ID: PennyDreadful_203_0389

If I ever become a full-blown hoarder like my mom, please let my hoard be this fabulous.

Great Bone Structure

I may have mentioned that my dream house would look like a Victorian study/wunderkammer. I’m already partway there, with my specimens and pictures of bugs and bats and my curios from around the world, but someday I will have more. Oh yes, I will have more.

Specifically, I would love a collection of animal skulls. Animals look like fantastical monsters without their skin, and I find them fascinating. But I currently have nowhere to put a collection of skulls, so for now I make do with one tiny muskrat skull. Someday, though, I would love to have a proper home library with beautiful dark wood book shelves and a few choice specimens on display.

They’d have to be mostly replicas–I’m not about to hunt a giraffe or net a sea turtle or harpoon an Indus River dolphin–there are just so many problems there, both ethical and practical. Replicas would do just fine. And while we’re talking replicas, I might like a replica child’s skull complete with all those teeth waiting to grow in. It’s funny, I really enjoy looking at skulls and imagining where the muscles attach and why they’re shaped the way they are, but looking at all those extra teeth hiding inside a kid’s skull freaks me out a bit.

 

Southern Gothic

Summer is coming I’m in that Southern Gothic mood again. This year I got in the mood early, before the weather caught up with me. Back at the end of February I ran across Hap and Leonard on Netflix and could not stop watching. I loved every strange, sad minute of it. Netflix only had the first two seasons, but it looks like I can watch the third on the Sundance website. They’re based on Joe R. Lansdale’s books. I’ve never read any of his Hap and Leonard series, but I’ve read a bit of his straight-ahead horror and I recommend him if you don’t mind gore and torture.

I’ve also been watching True Blood free on Amazon Prime. I find Sookie Stackhouse herself (the TV version) kind of annoying and immature, but I enjoy most everything else about the series.

Sadly, my town looks nothing like these shows. My town looks like, well, have you seen the original Footloose? That was filmed around here. Not that romantic. We don’t have sultry evenings filled with ancestral ghosts* and sexy vampires around here, so I’m stuck watching them TV.

Maybe I’ll pull out my billowy nightdress so I can sit on my patio in it, sip a mint julep and pretend I’m in Louisiana. Or maybe I’ll spring for a new one. Gotta have something to cool down these hot nights ahead. A light dress and a good chill up my spine oughta help.

I have this in black.**

 

*Okay, we probably do have ancestral ghosts around here, but they’d mostly show up to complain about your skirt length and make sure you dance at least 12 inches apart from each other. 

**I swear it was cheaper this when I bought it, though.